I jumped. And I wasn’t ready.

Today I am sharing the most exciting news of m̶y̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶e̶r̶ my life with you:

I am officially a full time wedding photographer!

I know most of you right now are probably like,
“Uhhh what? I thought you already were a full time photographer?”
And I was… kind of. Let’s back track:

2019-07-22_0003.jpg

Earlier this year, I turned 30 and as most people on their milestone birthdays do, I sat down and took a look at my life. My life was pretty normal - work, family, friends, more work, cleaning, cooking, getting another job, and every so often I’d go on vacation and bring my computer with me so I could edit while I was away. 

Over six years ago, I started working at a corporate photography studio and like most corporate jobs, it became my safety net. Five years ago, I started my own wedding photography business while still working at the studio. Then three years ago, I took on a third part time photography job in case the first two weren’t enough.

I used to think that being super busy and working three jobs at once meant that I was definitely doing something right. I was ‘hustling’ and hustling is what you need to do to succeed. I was even called the definition of success by a local blog because all I did was work. It was awesome!

Until it wasn’t.

2019-07-22_0006.jpg

I wanted to put all my time and energy into my wedding photography business but instead my energy was being pulled in every direction and I was becoming exhausted. Working at the studio felt safe and consistent but it didn’t make me happy so I knew I needed a change.

Everyone tells you that the most important thing when wanting to leave a 9-5 is to have a plan so I made a decision: I would leave when it was the right time and when I had put together the right plan.

Then, one morning, I went into work and unexpectedly blurted out to my boss at the corporate office that I’m leaving. A part of me was like, “Girl what did you just say?! Where exactly do you think you’re going?”

Remember that plan I mentioned I needed? I didn’t have it.

But maybe you don’t always need a plan. Maybe you just need courage.

photo credit: www.instagram.com/startyourbusinesssis

photo credit: www.instagram.com/startyourbusinesssis

I woke up one morning and realized that there is never really ‘a right time’ to take a big risk. So if not now, when?

I wasn’t ready but I jumped anyway. That’s why this is not only my most vulnerable and honest blog post, but also my proudest moment (I mean other than being called one of the top wedding photographers in the world - pretty sure I’ll NEVER get over that one - ayyyy!).

But really - I understand that being a full time freelance artist is incredibly difficult and I don’t know what’s going to happen, but whether I fail or succeed, I know that I went for it. I will never be someone that stands on the sidelines and asks ‘what if?’ and I will never again be unhappy in any situation because I now understand that if I am unhappy, it is up to me to change it.

2019-07-23_0001.jpg

Thank you to all of my family, my friends, and my amazing clients who I now consider friends, for always being so supportive. I can’t wait to start this journey, full time.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for everything.

All my love,
Kseniya